It’s been a while since the last one of these but it’s time for another weird adventures in Samurai’s dream land brain, come on it’ll be fun.
Instead of drowning friends for achievement points, this time I went to visit AgentOrangearu at his house. The only thing is I didn’t know where he lived exactly. But I did go see Gramps5419 (your name is Subject O, #dealwithit) because apparently, he knew for some reason and I knew where he lived.
So I drive over to see Gramps, and we were going to have a sleepover (because I’m apparently 10 all of a sudden in this dream, I don’t know.) But then decided nah, continue onward to visiting Agent.
So we get to Agent’s house where Gramps mysteriously disappears so I just sit down in dining room. Agent shows up and is not surprised at my unscheduled visit. And there’s only one thing for the two of us to do at that point.
To go to a hybrid Costco-Wegmans store obviously. I guess it was a Wegman’s Warehouse? I don’t know honestly. As long as it wasn’t that warehouse where Dane Cook lost his acting career I was probably going to be fine.
The first thing I do is lose Agent. Great. So I’m looking around for him and I can’t find him but I do see this girl, (insert random hot girl imagery.) Now I’m not about to write you all a saucy story so I’ll just tell you her and I got a little personal.
“Samurai, that’s too much man,” I hear you say while you’re thinking about how to get me to write more details. I know, but I’m dedicated to the truth that these insane dreams bring. Which is why I’ll tell you the conclusion of said moments. See we didn’t finish up because in the middle of things we had to stop.
Why? Because I dropped my British flag.
I was holding a British flag in my hand that I didn’t see initially in my dream. Which is weird only because it wasn’t a small flag, this flag could have doubled for a bed sized blanket. And when I dropped it, I don’t know.
- My cover was blown?
- I wasn’t really British?
- I was secretly British?
So whatever the reason that ended relations between us, sad.
Anyways, I leave and find Agent again (whom better not have been girl in disguise goddammit. “You can’t catch me gay thoughts.” -Tom Cruise.)
Continuing on we are walking around in the store and it’s suddenly night out. Which would be fine but that means it’s closing time in the Wegman’s Warehouse.
They kill the lights to show that it’s time to stop shopping. Random employees yelling like prison guards down the aisles to corral people to the front to pay for whatever is in their hands and get out. Part of me is thinking shit has hit the fan, but the part of me that use to work in retail is super happy at their efficiency at closing up shop at the end of the day.
I can’t leave this store empty handed so I run and grab the closest thing to me that I want to buy. It’s a bottle of champagne. A four foot tall bottle of pale-bubbly champagne shaped like a normal bottle would be but you know huge.
And it’s only twelve dollars. Let’s get it.
I’d like to tell you I drank that thing down but honestly at this point I woke up, because I have a sore throat and a clogged sinus that prevented me from enjoying that dream to it’s conclusion. It’s all good though, maybe it will be waiting there for me tonight! Agent we gonna party man!