Variks the Mall Cop and maybe a small bonus rant.

I was talking to AgentOrangearu yesterday while going through the Prison of Elders like we do every week on our “Samurai and Agent Funtime Prison Adventures!” patent pending….

And I’ve already figured out Bungie’s new raid-type event for them. I call it the “Prison of Vendors“, yeeeeesssssss? I got the idea from one of my all time favorite games, Final Fantasy XI and in it they have this thing called Dynamis. Which basically means you would go to the city zones normally full of safety and surprise! monsters.

But it needs that Bungie touch first so I’ve got the basics all down here, take notes.

  • Ok first, there are no monsters or shootable enemies.  Instead, all of the vendors are level 36. So you have a 40% less success rate of conversing with them.
  • And second, all of the vendors are Eva Levante. Hope you like Jester Apogee only Guardians because that’s all there is for sale.

I know this may seem daunting but have no fear Guardians.  There is always a possibility of an exotic drop.  Yes there is hope, in the form of RNJesus.  Look upon him with your doe-eyed gaze.  Hope as he smiles back. Sit child, as his blessing envelopes you like the headlights of an oncoming truck.

Like I did yesterday. RNJesus looked at me and I had my hopes elevated and dashed in one breath as I received my 7th Dragon’s Breath.


If only there was some other Fire Based-Exotic Type-Rocket Launcher in the game that could maybe take the place of the 8th Dragon’s Breath I’m doomed to eventually get but as far as I know… that doesn’t exist.


One thought on “Variks the Mall Cop and maybe a small bonus rant.”

  1. I love RNGesus, and praise his capricious ways.

    I started playing Destiny in May, and got an Ice Breaker and Gjallarhorn in 1 week. I still haven’t gotten Hawkmoon yet (I’m on the PS4 – don’t hate), but I have faith His Randomness will bless me with one soon (or at least that Xur will sell it the week it is available to you XBoners). After all, I finally got Fatebringer tonight, after getting Chatterwhites a-plenty.

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